Moves Like Steltzner

28 Aug

One unanticipated outcome of the Mars Curiosity landing was the rock star status attained by certain scientists and engineers after the landing broadcast and NASA press conferences. One such star is Adam Steltzner, lead engineer of the Curiosity rover entry, descent and landing (EDL) phase.

Because he’s known as a “rock and roll” engineer, I thought that he deserved his own song – or at least a parody…

MOVES LIKE STELTZNER
(to the tune of “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5)

He’s shooting for Mars

Cuz it feels right

He’s landing a car

On a new site

But don’t be afraid, he’ll make it OK

That’s why he gets paid.


We all wanna know

If there’s water

We know long ago

Mars was hotter

You say it’s in vain

The Sky Crane’s insane

He don’t give a shhhhhh

And it goes like this


[Chorus:]

Log onto the web

When I phone you,

Watch the NASA feed

And I’ll show you

All the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ves like Steltzner

He don’t need to try to control you

One look at his hair and he’ll own you

With the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ves like Steltzner


[Verse 2:]

Landing is hard

When your rover’s the size of a car

It don’t seem right

But he knows the scene

So trust in him please

He’s got RTGs

Oh

So download the pics

We’ve got thumbnails,

The photos are raw

But you like it,

And you want to steer

But he’s shifting gears

He’ll take it from here (Oh! Yeah yeah!)

And it goes like this (Uh)


[Chorus:]

Log onto the web

When I phone you,

Watch the NASA feed

And I’ll show you

All the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ves like Steltzner

He don’t need to try to control you

One look at his hair and he’ll own you

With the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ves like Steltzner


[Bridge:]

You wanna know what they’re gonna find

They’ll take it slow, gonna take their time

And when Gale shares its secret

They will not keep it

Everyone can see this.

So watch and learn

He won’t show you twice

Why the EDL went so right

And when he shares his secret

You don’t have to keep it

He wants the world to see this (Ay! Ay! Ay! Aaay!)

And it goes like this


[Chorus:]

Log onto the web

When I phone you,

Watch the NASA feed

And I’ll show you

All the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ves like Steltzner

He don’t need to try to control you

One look at his hair and he’ll own you

With the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moves like Steltzner

I’ve got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ves like Steltzner

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